CUT!
by Aeris Ultimate Wheer
Summary: Appearently all the characters from FF7 arent very good actors...and now that Cloud wont ever stop trying to rhyme and wont ever stop talking in 3rd person! its a story about them going through their game as if it were a movie^_^flames will be laughed at!
1. Ok let's run through the beginning...

                Ok this is going to be the characters going through the game of Final Fantasy (disclaimer: which I do NOT own in any way whatsoever), but it's played out like a movie…you know what I mean? (whole audience: no…me: -_-;;;) well, you'll see what I mean…^__^ enjoy! Oh I am going to change it a little bit because I don't remember the whole lines even though I've played it like billions of times…

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We are starting at the part where Cloud meets Tifa at the bar because the train part is boring…

Cloud: Hey Barret where's my pay?

Barret: Yo I ain't givin you none a your damn pay!

Cloud: What??? ;_;

Tifa: Oh come on he deserves some…

Cloud: Yeah she's right!

Director: CUT!!!! You guy are messing this scene all up! That's not the lines at all!

Cloud: Soooooo…what are you saying?

D (Director): -_-;;; ugh…well, let's move on the the next scene.

Tifa: Cloud don't you remember your childhood friend?

List of choices come up: 

1) Oh yeah you're that girl selling flowers.

2) Oh yeah the drunk on the streets.

Cloud: Uh…the drunk on the streets?

Tifa: O_o Cloud that isn't even the the right choice box…that's Aeris's!

Cloud: Oops…what are the right choices?

List of choices:

1) Oh yeah…

2) How dare you! 

Cloud: Hmmm…let's see…how dare you!

Tifa: ;_; Cloud you're supposed to be nice to me…

D: Ugh ugh…Cloud your not doing anything right.

Cloud: But it's my choice. I can say no to drugs!

Everyone: o_O;;;

D: Cloud, pick the good choice though…ok?

Cloud: But I don't wan…

D: Shut up Cloud onto the scene where Cloud crashes into Aeris's church.

 *CRASH*!!!

Aeris: Hello?? Are you awake?

Cloud: Ung…Aeris?

Aeris: Wait you aren't supposed to know my name yet…

Cloud: ok then what us your name? *name screne pops up*

Cloud: K let's see what I shall name you…C…L…

Aeris: Cloud Aeris is just fine.

Cloud: O…U…D……I…S……R…E…A…L…L…Y……H…OT…Cloud is really hot.

D: x_O Cloud what the hell are you doing?

Cloud: Don't swear around Cloud!

D: -_- why did you just give Aeris that name…I thought we agreed to keep everyone's name.

Cloud: Cloud was making a point.

D: Stop talking in third person.

Cloud: Cloud will when he wants.

Aeris: K my name is Aeris.

Cloud: Nooo that's not your name.

Aeris:…*sigh* K, my name is…Cloud is really hot…

Cloud: Wow thanks! You are too!

Tifa: What about me?

Cloud: *hugs Aeris*

D: Wait that's not supposed to happen! Start over after Cloud names her Aeris…not 'Cloud is really hot'.

Cloud: ^____^

Aeris: Are you alright? You came crashing down into my church, but my flowers caught your fall…

Tifa: Wait if Aeris's flowers caught Cloud's fall then why is Cloud on top of Aeris?

Cloud: Well I guess I just kinda went there…

Aeris: Tee-hee…

Yuffie: Ew like gross! Let's go to my scene!

D: Yuffie, that's later in the game. And plus, what are you doing here? Your not here till later!! X_x Ok, we are moving to the part where the Shinra peoples come in and try to take Aeris.

Me: Ok I forgot wether it was Reno or Tseng who came in so…it's gonna Tseno. K? ^_^

Aeris: Oh that's just Tseno…

Cloud: Really? Wanna be my friend?

Tseno: Sure!

Aeris: wait you're supposed to chase me with your little blue friends into the place with the barrels.

Tseno. Oh yeah! *chases Aeris*

Cloud: *pushes over barrel and it lands in Aeris*

Aeris: Owowowowowowow!!!

Tseno: *cracks up*

Cloud: *pushes another barrel onto Tseno*

Tseno: X_x

D: Ok now Aeris and Cloud run out of the church and go to Aeris's house…

At Aeris's house…

Elmyra: Get out of my house! Like that?

D: -_- no you don't even say that…you are supposed to ask him to leave when Aeris is sleeping…

Elmyra: Ok. Leave when Aeris is sleeping.

D: ok good enough…

Cloud: FINE! I will then. *goes upstairs into bedroom* *sees treasure*

Cloud: Coolie! *opens up treasure bag* *looks in bag and finds Aeris's just bought underwear from Target* (I don't own Target either!)

Cloud: Cool…*rubs bra on his face*

Aeris: Excuse me but what are you doing!

Cloud: looking at your underwear.

D: Cloud, stop it! Get back in bed!

Cloud: *gets in bed* *then trys to sneak out*

Aeris: Zzzzz…

Cloud: *sneaks into Aeris's room* *gets on top of Aeris*

Aeris: Wha…What? Cloud what are you doing!?

Cloud: *grabs Aeris's nose and plays 'got your nose'*

D: Cloud what are you doing now?

Cloud: Cloud is playing.

D: Cloud, you need a nap. You are messing up way to much today! Bring out the the guy that's supposed to come out if Cloud doesn't do stuff right (lol)

Zack: I'm here! I'm Cloud.

Cloud: NO I'M CLOUD!

Zack: Not today you're not…*pushes Cloud*

Aeris: Cloud was doing fine.

Zack: Zack will do better.

D: O_o they are exactly alike!

Sephiroth: I can be Cloud ^_^

Aeris: Whoa, no you can't you don't even look like him.

D: Oh well.

Sephi: Sephiroth is proud to be Cloud!

D: ;_; are any 'Clouds' here normal?

Vincent: Vincent is normal!

D: ;__;

Cid: Cid is too!

D: ;___;

Barret: So is Barret!

D: ;____;

Cait Sith: Cait Sith is too!

D: ;_____;

Nanaki (Red XIII is too annoying to type): Me too.

D: Did I just here God call out my name? Is someone here normal?????

Nanaki: Nanaki doesn't know.

D: ;______; Onto the next scene…Cloud come back here we'll use you…

Cloud: ^____________^

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Kay that's the first chapter ^.^ lalalala…I was very hyper when I wrote this so just hope I'm still as hyper when I write the rest! Hehe…I wanna dedicate this story to my also hyper friend and pen pal, RIKKU!!!!!!!!!! ^________~ So, I want to let everyone know that Tifa will be in the story more…hehe…and no Cloud and Tifa will not fall in love…that's Cloud and Aeris. So if you are a Clouti fan, don't you dare flame are I might have to kill you… :}


	2. Cloud becomes a poet

Hiya everyone! Wow my humor stories are so much better than my romance ones o.O  I hate my romance stories! Anyway, going back to Aeris's house… (oh yeah I don't own the wizard of oz! Or the movie "Bourne identity, or any other movies I mention! Matrix, ect…)

D: Ok Cloud, now please try to escape from Aeris's room, like you are supposed too.

Cloud: *sneaks out of Aeris's house*

D: YAY you did it right Cloud! I'm so proud of you!

Cloud: Director is proud of Cloud. Hey that rhymed. I'm a poet and I did't even know it. HAHA! 

D: Ok…now I guess we go to the part where Aeris stops Cloud and makes him let her join him.

Aeris: Where are you going?

Cloud: Huh me? I was going to ah…the…a…to the candy store.

Aeris: Oh really? Can I come too?????????

D: O_o!!! Where are you guys going????

Aeris & Cloud: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz…because because because because of the wonderful things he does!

Vincent: O.o;;;*edges away from Cloud* *bumps into Yuffie* O.o;;;;;;;;;;;

Yuffie: What's the matter? *gives Vincent hug*

Vincent: O_____X Yuffie!

Yuffie: Geez Vincy you sure are an anti-socialist, don't turn into a Squall on me!

Vincent: ;_; *goes home*

D: -_- What is this, a crew of retards? First, there's Cloud, the 3rd person talking legendary idiot,  next Aeris the perfect girlfriend of the legendary retard Cloud, then there's Yuffie, the stereo-type teenager, then Vincent, the anti-socialist, wait…Tifa, you're a good actor! Let's make a game about you ^_~

Tifa: *****jumps up and down* Oh yippie!!!

Cloud: Wait a minute isn't Cloud the star? *eats chocolate he got from the Candy Store*

D: Cloud where have you been? Wait a minute…you payed for that right? *looks at Aeris and Cloud's choclate covered faces*

Aeris & Cloud: ^______^ Maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe…

D: *hears cop sirens* O________o What have you guys done? You stole candy so now we're on the run!

Tifa: Well what about my big part in the game?

D: First we gotta move outta the country and make new identities!

Cloud: Cloud already made them. *holds up i.d. that says "Jason Bourne"*

Aeris: Look at mine! ^.^ *holds up i.d. that says "Trinity:*

Me: Ok, this is getting a little weird! So, after they went to another country, they found a new studio, and we shall begin by continuing the making of the game!

D: Ok, let's start at the part where they go to the Wallmarket!

Cloud: Hey do you remember when Cloud was a poet?

Tifa: Yeha…what of it?

Cloud: Well I was thinking maybe Cloud should be a poet. 

Aeris: Ok whatever, let's proceed with the game.

Cloud: *****cough cough*** **Cloud will dress up as a girl. And learn to drill!

Tifa: Wha…what?

Cloud: Cloud likes toast. Please don't boast!

Tifa: What are you talking about Cloud?

Cloud: Do you like red wine? I like that vine.

Aeris: Stop rhyming!

Cloud: But Cloud needs his time to rhyme!

D: Cloud stop trying to rhyme!

Cloud: Director is mad at Cloud. Cloud should not be proud. But Cloud is proud. Cause' I am the Proud Cloud!

D: No more rhyming today okay?

Cloud: You just rhymed!

D: You need a time out. Go sit by the pond and watch the fish and think about what you've done.

Cloud: *sits down by pond and starts watching fish* One fish…Two fish…Red fish, Blue fish! AHAHAHAHAHA!

D: CLOUD STOP RHYMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Cloud: Cloud will stop rhyming. He should stop rhyming.

D: Wait a minute Cloud that didn't even rhyme.

Cloud: Yes it did because rhyme and rhyme…well, they rhyme! HAHAHAHA!

D: Ok Aeris, get on the stage, and Cloud you sit out for this part. K?

Cloud: OKAY ^_^

Aeris: *rehearses lines*

Cloud: *mumble mumble* fuzzy wuzzy was a bear… *mumble mumble*

D: What did you just say Cloud?

Cloud: I'm rehearsing my lines.

D: Okay good ^_^

Cloud: *****mumble* Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. *mumble*

D: K Cloud no you get up stage.

Cloud: Fuzzy Wuzzy WASN'T REALLY FUZZY WAS HE!

D: CLOUD!!!!!!!!! I'm so mad, so mad I wanna kill someone, and that someone is you!!!!!!!

Cloud: No killing of the Cloud!!! ;_;

Tifa: SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: *cricket noises*

Tifa: Cloud, stop rhyming, and we are all going to finish this game wether we want to rhyme or not!!

Everyone: O…okay…

D: *shouts into the megaphone* K, let's start from the Wallmarket where Aeris comes in and tells Cloud her plan. Poll em'!

Aeris: Hey Cloud, I think you should dress up as a girl.

Cloud: Wha..what?

Aeris: You know, dress up as a girl with make-up and a dress, and pretty hair, and a push-up bra…and…

Cloud: Ok now you are getting to into this, I'm not gonna wear one of…those…things…

Aeris: What you mean this? *holds up bikini breifs*

Cloud: ;_; Yes! That like…goes…up…your…

Aeris: Cloud it's just a thong!

Cloud: ;____________; *runs home*

D: -_- Cloud what are you doing?

Cloud: I'm scared!

Tifa: Come on…Aeris and me will be with you the whole time…*leads Cloud onto the stage*

D: Ok start from the beginning of the Wallmarket scene.

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Hm………I don't think this chapter is as funny as the first one. But the rest will be a lot better!! *gives thumbs up*** ^_~ **and I know I kinda stopped it right in the middle of something, but I have horrible writers cramp…and I just can't write anymore right now…..sooooooooooooooooooooooo stay tuned for the next chapter! Hehe ^____~


	3. Bringing out the woman in you

We have a special appearance! ^.~ Steiner and Tidus will be in this chapter. Oh yeah, I don't own Sponge bob Square Pants either…

***

D: Alright roll em'! Wait, actually, we'll start at Aeris's playground.

Aeris: *jumps on Slide*

Cloud: *starts swinging*

D: ~_~ Cloud stop it…right now.

Cloud: ^___^

Aeris: *Tifa rides by* Is that Tifa? She looked a little odd…

Tifa: *jumps out of carriage*  And what do you mean by that? That I'm ugly?

Aeris: No it's just…

Yuffie: CAT FIGHT!

Aeris: Wait no!

Tifa: *claw claw* RARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Cloud: *gets in fight too*

D: What's going on? :(

Yuffie: I didn't do anything.

Aeris: -.- Can we skip this part?

****

Guy at Corneo's mansion place: So are you alone?

Aeris: Hold on I got a cute friend I wanna bring! *goes outside* Cloud, I think you should dress up like a girl!

Cloud: Wha…what?

Aeris: Yeah you know, a girl. Come on.

Cloud: *sigh*

Aeris: ::At the clothes store:: I have a friend who wants to dress up like a girl.

Store Clerk: What? A tough lookin guy like that?

Cloud: Yeah that's right. You got a problem with it? Brrring it!! *shakes finger*

Store Clerk: Oh it's already been boughten!

D: Cloud what do you think your doing?

Cloud: ^_^ Spicing it up a bit!

Tifa: Well stop so we can get onto the part we're you see me again!

D: -_- Ok whatever. GO!

Store Clerk: Ok well you're going to have to get my father. Ask him how to make one.

*they get to the bar were his father is*

Aeris: Can you make a dress for my friend here?

Father: Sure. Tell me what you want…

List of choices pop up:

1) Feels itchy and scratchy

2) Feels dirty

3) Feels clean

4) Feels soft

Cloud: Can I pick 1 and 2?

Aeris: O.o Cloud I don't think you want that…

Cloud: Yes I do! Continue…^_^

List:

1) One that shimmers

2) One that shines

3) One that just is too dirty to see anything

Cloud: How about 3?

Aeris: Cloud why don't you let me…

Cloud: I got it under control! 

D: *cracking up* Go on…*laughing*

Father: Alright, stop by my store when its ready.

Aeris: We should get some more things. Were to next?

Cloud: The candy store!

Aeris: ^___^ Sounds good to me!

D: O_O Wait no!

Cloud & Aeris: Yum yum… :P *eating the chocolate from the store*

D: You guys know that's not…real chocolate right? 

Cloud: What is it then?

D: …wax…~.~

Aeris: O.x *throws up*

Cloud: EEEEWWWW!

D: CUT! Just pretend you have a bunch of stuff and go to the Honey Bee Inn.

Cloud & Aeris: *goes to the Honey Bee Inn*

Guys: WHOA! *crowd around Aeris*

Aeris: …

Cloud: Stay back!!!! *kills everyone there*

Everyone: X_x

D: Cloud! You just killed all those guys! O.o

Cloud: I thought Cloud's sword was plastic.

D: It was ;_;

Tifa: How can it kill someone then?

Yuffie: Let's just…not ask…

Cloud: *goes inside*

Honey Bee Girl: Poo, I mean sir, please hurry.

Cloud: Whats in here? *looks inside Lovers room*

Grandma: Grandpa…

Cloud: AH! GROSSS!!!! *stops looking* O_x;;;

Honey Bee Girl: Poo, I mean sir, please hurry.

Cloud: Poo? -.- *Looks at sign on a door* The @%()_)(+% Room…sounds edjucational. ^_^ But whats the other room?

Honey Bee Girl: Poo, I mean sir, please hurry.

Cloud: GET MY #$&+)(% NAME RIGHT! *kills Girl*

HB Girl: X_x

D: CLOUD! That's the las…

Cloud: *kills Director*

D: X_x 

Tifa: Oh My God Cloud! Look what you've done! 

Cloud: Don't worry, Cloud has backup ^_^ *picks up phone*

Yuffie: I hope it's someone good…

Cloud: Hello Tidus? Wanna come direct our game?

Tidus: SURE! *walks out from the making of his game*

Rikku: Uh…Tidus, come back…

Tidus: :::already gone:::

Tidus: Roll em'!

Cloud: Hmm…the group room. *goes inside*

Guys: Hey hubby, let's wash our sweat off together!

Cloud: O_o Cloud is disturbed!

Guys: *get in Hot tub*

Cloud: *sees Steiner* What are you doing here?

Steiner: *runs away*

Cloud: -.- Wait, what are you doing?

Guys: ^_^

Cloud: DISTURBENCE! *runs out of Honey Bee Inn* *steals Bikini briefs*

Tidus: Is that supposed to happen?

Cloud: *inside Clothes place*

Aeris: Have a good time? ^.^

Cloud: NO! *cries* ;_;

Store Clerk: Your dress is ready!

Cloud: How do you put this on?

Aeris: *eyes covered* Cloud…why don't you try…going in the dressing room…

Tifa: XD *cracks up*

Cloud: *comes out* How do I look?

Aeris: … *looks at Cloud wearing a Giant Sponge Bob Square Pants outfit* Wait that reminds me! *turns on TV*

Pirate: Are you ready kids?

Yuffie, Vincent, Cloud and Aeris: Ai Ai Captain!

Pirate: I can't heeeeear you…

Yuffie, Vincent, Cloud and Aeris: AI AI CAPTAIN!

D (who is suddenly alive): What? What are you doing? *sees Cloud in Sponge Bob outfit* O___o;;;

Pirate: Ooooooooooo Who lives in a pineapple under the sea…

Y, V, C, and A: SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS!

D: ~_O *turns off TV* Get back on stage!

Everyone: *walks sheepishly to the stage*

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Ok my other chapters were pretty funny, hehe…..but this one is kinda weird ~.~ Anyway, even though this one wasn't as funny as the others, it will get better later! ^.~


	4. Plotlessness! XD

Ack!! SORRY!! X___X I haven't written ANYTHING in soooo long!! I get back to it! I start with this story!! ^__^ Hey, you know i think is like the most successful story I've made O.o;;;;; 19 reviews and only 3 chapters....

D: okay....now after that little.....dilemma, Tidus, go home!! *glaaaaaares at Tidus*

Tidus: *walks away grumbling*

D: Okay n---*looks around on stage* where did everyone go??? O____O!! *sees everyone sitting in front of the TV*

Pirate: ABSORBANT AND YELLOW AND COARAS IS HE!!

Y, V, C and A: SPONGE BOB SQAURE PANTS!!

D: Errrrrr.....

(Eh!! Let's skip to the end!)

Pirate, Vincent, Yuffie, Cloud and Aeris: SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS, SPONGE BOB SQAURE PANTS...

Pirate: Sponge bob......SQAURE PANTS!! *little flute plays*

D: ___________________________ @%$#%*&^*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Everyone: …..

D: *makes hand gestures to start*

Guy at door: Damn your friends hot too!  
Cloud: ….O_o; You scare me…

D: *shoots evil glare at Cloud*

Cloud: *grumbles*

Aeris: Okay let's go! *drags Cloud into mansion*

Cloud: *walks down stairs to see Tifa* ….*walking* *suddenly gets shorter and fatter* O__o; *walks back up* *gets normal sized* =^_^= *back down* *gets fat* *walks up* *gets skinny* *walks up* *walks down* XDDDDDDDDDD!! (Remember in FF7 when you do that part the game get all messy and that happens O.o;)

Aeris & Tifa: -_________-;;;;;;; *yell at him to come down*

Cloud: *runs down* Tifa what are you doing here!  
Tifa: Well I…  
Cloud: *looses interest* *wanders away*

Aeris: *makes Cloud turn around and look at Tifa*

Cloud: …*grumbles*

Tifa: ;__;!!

D: ……*loads shotgun*

Cloud: ^^!! *hugs Tifa*

Aeris: …..  
Cloud: XD *glomps Aeris*

Aeris: XDD!!!!

D: …..-__-

::after an hour or so of glomping and hugging::

Cloud: Tifa what are you doing here?

Tifa: What are YOU doing here? And dressed like THAT??

Cloud: Well I….*wanders away*

Tifa: O.o???

Aeris: Cloud you didn't fini…*trails off*

Tifa: …Aeris wha….*stops*

D: What th….*dies*

Cloud: XD;;

Me: ….

D: Okay that was just messed up….ANYWAYS! O_o;;

Cloud: ………*drools*

D: O_o;; Um….yeah

Don Corneo guy: *eats potato chip* *looks at Aeris, Tifa, and Cloud*

Cloud: *nudges Aeris* I betcha I'm gonna win XP

Aeris: Um…good for you ^^;

Corneo: *look at Tifa* I pick you!

Aeris: _! *stomps feet* that's not fair! Just because she has bigger boobs!

Tifa: O_____o;;

Cloud: Yeah!

Tifa: …

Camera guy: *zooms up on Tifa's chest*

Aeris: *kills guy with chainsaw*

Cloud: *whines* you need a chill pill!

Aeris: *eat frosted cheerio*

D: ……..

Corneo: O.o; *chooses Aeris instead* 

Aeris: *poisons Don guy* XD *lightning flashes*

D: AERIS! WTF?  
Aeris: …^^;;

Wakka: *walks in* I can be pimp dude, ya!?

D: …..whatever

Aeris: O____o;;;;;; NO!

Wakka: WHOA HO HO!! XDD

Cloud: …

Tifa: XDD;;;;; *laaaaaughing*

Aeris: ~_~; *dragged into room*

Wakka: *jumps on Aeris*

Aeris: O_O!

Wakka: *starts tickling her*

Aeris: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Wakka: *asks Aeris to hop on bed*

Aeris: *stammers*

Cloud & Tifa: *come running in*

Wakka: ^_^! Whoa! Ya, man! What's happening!?

Cloud: You scare….*trails off*

Tifa: *smacks head*

Wakka: Ey, It rude to interrupt someone's happy time, ya??!!

Tifa: O__o;; *drags Aeris and Cloud AWAY*

Rikku: ….; *comes in and drags Wakka away*

D: O________o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Um, let's SKIP this part……

***

^__^!! Okies, short chapter!! XD  and weird O_o; *sees sugar tub laying next to her* XDDDD Well, I just wanted to get up a chapter because I no written ANYTHING in LONG LONG time ~__________~;; so, since it all Winter Break, I write more XDD Or I hope I do O_o;


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